Yeah it's official between her and him. I'm sure it's been official for a while but I was too hung up on my own feelings to let it sink in. I sent her a txt asking were him and her a thing and she said "honestly, yes".
I should have seen it coming as she has been quite distant from me for a few weeks now, pretty much just treating me like any other guy in our class, basic pleasantries and little else. I wish them the best of luck as they're both nice people and objective observer would be like "so they're getting together? meh, things like that happen"
Part of me didn't want to admit to the obvious signs (even to me, who's useless at picking up subtle things). I guess at one stage she was genuinely close to me but then got frustrated that it was going nowhere. I tend to do that, proceed slowly until I'm 100% sure but then she's dropping subtle hints at me and getting frustrated. I guess it's a combination of me not wanting to get hurt and not believing that this is happening to me who's rarely received such affection and I want to know if it's for real or is she just that way with everybody. I can tell by the way she's acting around me that she's thinking "that ship has sailed, I tried to get through to him but he didn't warm up or respond".
All I can say as I block up that part of my life is that I missed the feeling of being close to her and wish to feel like that again with her or any other girl in my life ahead. I'll light a fairy light next to her photo in the back of my mind to signify that my feelings for her haven't fully been extinguished but are flickering away as a reminder to myself. She very well may have washed her hands of the prospect of ever getting close to me again. which I'm saddened by but understand.
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