In
college lately I've been floundering of late, doing the bare minimum
(and
sometimes not even that)
watching the weeks wash over me and not doing very much about it .
It's entirely my fault and I
have disillusioned myself into thinking I was doing ok or that this
approach would cause me to succeed. While the continuous assessment
aspect of it isn't the main chunk of the marks (the end of semester
exams are)
they are certainly handy marks to have in the bag that I've been
neglecting. My attendance has also semi suffered, or sometimes I'll
attend just for the signing in and then spend the class doing nothing
more productive than chatting on facebook or browsing sites like
Reddit, Engadget and Gizmodo.
Is
this the approach that I wanted? Well
no but it's sort of
just happened and I think both my parents and my friends in college
have started to notice. I'll really have to turn this around or risk
repeating half my exams in August.
I guess I've been disillusioning myself that I had more of a safety
net than I thought or more time than I thought to turn this train to
the bottom around.
On
a more positive note, I've come across a pretty cute and cool girl who's over here on a working visa for a
year. Is she partly
responsible for the above? I suppose you could argue subconsciously
she may have had an influence. Do I hold her responsible in any shape
or form? Certainly
not! She's
one of the few positive things in my life at the moment. We've been
going on "dates" on Tuesdays these past few weeks and have
been chatting on facebook and texting in-between. I guess you could
say she's been a distraction from my studies and if she somehow ends
up reading this, it's
my fault for not finding a balance between the two aspects of my life
and I'll turn the academic side around if solely for my self
development. I've just let it catch up on me a bit. I've really come
to look forward to these "dates", she has stated that she
doesn't want anything serious as she's only here for the year and
mightn't even be in Dublin for the entire year. I've felt a
connection between us that's more than just friends, it might be
presumptuous to assume this, but I feel she's felt it too. It might
end up as a "friends with benefits" arrangement or friends
who don't mind fooling around with each other if they so desire.
I
guess this has been a bit of a distraction from my studies if I'm
perfectly honest and to continue being honest, I sort of let
it be. But now that I know about it I can hopefully put measures in
place to turn it around. Hopefully not to
the detriment of either.
Also as a
passing thought, it'd probably be best if she doesn't read this till
at least much later.... haha.
