The little things that keep you entertained

Well today was quite an eventful day. It started with me going into college and logging in to Facebook on my laptop to discover that on the college group, that I'd set up for the class so people could post notes or other college related things, that there was a photo of a personal ad posted in the local free newspaper concerning a certain lecturer in the college (see above). Now I've not heard any gushing reports from my female peers in the course so I take it he doesn't register much on their PHWAH-ometer, so I suspect it was one of the guys winding him up for the laughs. Now we did have him today but not till the afternoon.

When the lecture did come around and we were sitting around during the usual 5-10 minute lull at the start of lectures we were chuckling away and passing the paper around to those who hadn't seen it. One guy even left the paper open to the relevant page up on the lecture table where the PC is. Anyway in walks the lecturer to a chorus of chuckles and he spots the paper and said “ Alright, yis have all had your fun” while semi chuckling himself. That was it pretty much, he got on with his programming lecture.

Procrastination and love life

In college lately I've been floundering of late, doing the bare minimum (and sometimes not even that) watching the weeks wash over me and not doing very much about it . It's entirely my fault and I have disillusioned myself into thinking I was doing ok or that this approach would cause me to succeed. While the continuous assessment aspect of it isn't the main chunk of the marks (the end of semester exams are) they are certainly handy marks to have in the bag that I've been neglecting. My attendance has also semi suffered, or sometimes I'll attend just for the signing in and then spend the class doing nothing more productive than chatting on facebook or browsing sites like Reddit, Engadget and Gizmodo.

Is this the approach that I wanted? Well no but it's sort of just happened and I think both my parents and my friends in college have started to notice. I'll really have to turn this around or risk repeating half my exams in August. I guess I've been disillusioning myself that I had more of a safety net than I thought or more time than I thought to turn this train to the bottom around.

On a more positive note, I've come across a pretty cute and cool girl who's over here on a working visa for a year. Is she partly responsible for the above? I suppose you could argue subconsciously she may have had an influence. Do I hold her responsible in any shape or form? Certainly not! She's one of the few positive things in my life at the moment. We've been going on "dates" on Tuesdays these past few weeks and have been chatting on facebook and texting in-between. I guess you could say she's been a distraction from my studies and if she somehow ends up reading this, it's my fault for not finding a balance between the two aspects of my life and I'll turn the academic side around if solely for my self development. I've just let it catch up on me a bit. I've really come to look forward to these "dates", she has stated that she doesn't want anything serious as she's only here for the year and mightn't even be in Dublin for the entire year. I've felt a connection between us that's more than just friends, it might be presumptuous to assume this, but I feel she's felt it too. It might end up as a "friends with benefits" arrangement or friends who don't mind fooling around with each other if they so desire.

I guess this has been a bit of a distraction from my studies if I'm perfectly honest and to continue being honest, I sort of let it be. But now that I know about it I can hopefully put measures in place to turn it around. Hopefully not to the detriment of either.

Also as a passing thought, it'd probably be best if she doesn't read this till at least much later.... haha.

Mmm, neglectful of this Blog I have been.

Well there are a few reasons for that. It's a combination of nothing really happening and me assessing if what has happened is suitable for shouting out into the dark void that the internet can be. I'll to summerise these events and my thoughts on them as best as I can.

So I went to the most recent Atheist's in the Pub which happened last thursday. Partly with the hope that Xena was there and partly because I always enjoy the social interaction and the talks that occur at these meetings. Well she was but while we got on fine I didn't get the same vibe that I got during our first interaction maybe I should have acted sooner and asked for her number and now she's kinna feeling detached and is reassessing the whole situation or maybe I misread the initial interaction and was projecting something onto her. I don't think so because I wasn't in the flirtatious mood when I set out that night as I don't tend to find girls I like when going to these meetings. Anyway I have added her on facebook and so it's not a total loss even if we end up being just friends.

I've begun my first week in the Computer Science course and while it's just the first week and everything is still up in the air I'm getting a fair Idea of what subjects I prefer over the others. The Programming module is definitely my favourite even though we've only had one lecture in it so far. I remember it from the first time around as just learning a way to tell the computer what to do and get it to do what you want. Maths strangely enough looks to be my weakest subject out of the gate and the one that I'll have to work on the most. The other subjects are: Communications, which is about essay writing, report writing, researching, proper citation and presentations, if it wasn't for Maths I'd say this would be the one I was least looking forward to. There is Computer Architecture, which as it sounds is about hardware and processors and the history of the physical aspects of the computer. This is all theory and notes mind you no hands on really. IT Fundamentals is another one, and that's about how IT interacts with companies and the business world. Programme Design is the final one but since we've not had that yet I can't say much about it. I think it's about pseudo code and thinking out the layout of your code and what you want it to do before you jump in and start coding.

I've found that my body clock has taken a bit of a whack as I'm not used to these early mornings. I find that I'm frequently tired when I get home despite the days not being particularly taxing as it's only the first week and all the lecturers are doing is giving the overview of the courses before we actually get down into anything.

In terms of social interaction with my new classmates well there's 80 of them and I've only been in 2 half arsed days (by both the students and the lecturers) but any chance I get that I'm sitting down next to someone I've not met before I always stick out my hand and introduce myself. Now I must confess I've forgotten 90% of their names within 20 mins of leaving that lecture as I'm terrible at remembering names but at least I'm making an effort to be friendly and they know that I'm a nice guy to go up and talk to, even if the most we'll see each other is if we happen to be assigned a project together. But you never know I might meet them if I join a society with them in or on one of my few and far between visit to the "college pub" (it's not strictly run by the college but it's the nearest one and students are pretty much all that go to it and so they do cheapish pints and pitcher deals).

People always say that life swings in roundabouts....

So I got a letter a few days ago telling me that I wasn't eligible for the back to education allowance which is an incentive for people on social welfare to go back to education to re-skill or to study and get a degree thus improving their overall job prospects. The rule that decided my fate, as it were, is a rule that I have to be on social welfare for at least 9 months or 234 working days before you begin the course in order to qualify. Their records show that I have accumulated 178 days and would still be short of the requirement when the course begins on the 17th of September.

It could be argued, and I know people who would hold the view, that I am only applied because I don't want to work during college and I like the prospect of continuing to get "free money" from the state and that I'm only going to university to have something to do during the day while I continue to "live off money they pay" as a tax payer. While they have a reasonable grasp of the consequences of what I applied for (at the time applying) they completely miss-judged my motivations for applying. I didn't enter into the process to avoid doing work. These nay sayers seem to forget that I did work part-time for over 4 years while studying on my previous course and so I know how it in combination with the long commute effected my ability to do the course.

I applied to avoid having to get a job out of necessity and to use the extra spare time to concentrate on any project or assignments I may be presented with. The amount I would be receiving on a weekly basis would be roughly comparable to what I receive now on social welfare, I believe I cannot receive social welfare while in full time education anyway. Of that weekly payment over half is going to a savings account in order to pay my fees (I'll have saved over 2000 by the time the course starts) leaving me with quite a modest amount each week as disposable income. This arrangement would have continued on the BTEA and certainly wouldn't be the picture of me getting free money to go out clubbing weekly or more often that I'm sure they envision. Now it seems that I need to get a part time job at the weekend (not an easy task in this economy which is the main reason I'm on social welfare to begin with) in order to equal the modest amount that I'd receive every week from the BTEA. If I can't find a job I don't know what I will do.

The concept of future financial uncertainty isn't a new one to me. For stages while I was in Canada it was the case and it severely effects any long term motivational goals you may have. Having a steady, reliable stream of income, no matter how modest it is, provides a sense of certainty into the future and thus you don't have to think "can I afford to meet up with my friends the weekend after next?" "can I afford that gig by a band I like next month?" let alone thinking about your love life and whether you can afford to go out dating or if you don't want to reveal your financial troubles to a girl in case she's completely put off by that and wants a guy who does have achievable long term goals and likes to go out occasionally for drinks or other social activities with her potential boy-friend. All you can do is to try and occupy your days with free activities to avoid spending the entire day indoors which I can tell you severely hinders your self esteem.

This does not bode well for any potential relationship with Xena.... Life does seem to hit you when you're down.