So I got a letter a few days ago telling me that I wasn't eligible for the back to education allowance which is an incentive for people on social welfare to go back to education to re-skill or to study and get a degree thus improving their overall job prospects. The rule that decided my fate, as it were, is a rule that I have to be on social welfare for at least 9 months or 234 working days before you begin the course in order to qualify. Their records show that I have accumulated 178 days and would still be short of the requirement when the course begins on the 17th of September.
It could be argued, and I know people who would hold the view, that I am only applied because I don't want to work during college and I like the prospect of continuing to get "free money" from the state and that I'm only going to university to have something to do during the day while I continue to "live off money they pay" as a tax payer. While they have a reasonable grasp of the consequences of what I applied for (at the time applying) they completely miss-judged my motivations for applying. I didn't enter into the process to avoid doing work. These nay sayers seem to forget that I did work part-time for over 4 years while studying on my previous course and so I know how it in combination with the long commute effected my ability to do the course.
I applied to avoid having to get a job out of necessity and to use the extra spare time to concentrate on any project or assignments I may be presented with. The amount I would be receiving on a weekly basis would be roughly comparable to what I receive now on social welfare, I believe I cannot receive social welfare while in full time education anyway. Of that weekly payment over half is going to a savings account in order to pay my fees (I'll have saved over 2000 by the time the course starts) leaving me with quite a modest amount each week as disposable income. This arrangement would have continued on the BTEA and certainly wouldn't be the picture of me getting free money to go out clubbing weekly or more often that I'm sure they envision. Now it seems that I need to get a part time job at the weekend (not an easy task in this economy which is the main reason I'm on social welfare to begin with) in order to equal the modest amount that I'd receive every week from the BTEA. If I can't find a job I don't know what I will do.
The concept of future financial uncertainty isn't a new one to me. For stages while I was in Canada it was the case and it severely effects any long term motivational goals you may have. Having a steady, reliable stream of income, no matter how modest it is, provides a sense of certainty into the future and thus you don't have to think "can I afford to meet up with my friends the weekend after next?" "can I afford that gig by a band I like next month?" let alone thinking about your love life and whether you can afford to go out dating or if you don't want to reveal your financial troubles to a girl in case she's completely put off by that and wants a guy who does have achievable long term goals and likes to go out occasionally for drinks or other social activities with her potential boy-friend. All you can do is to try and occupy your days with free activities to avoid spending the entire day indoors which I can tell you severely hinders your self esteem.
This does not bode well for any potential relationship with Xena.... Life does seem to hit you when you're down.
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